Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize