i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
