You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
