i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
