i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
