i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
