doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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