How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
