you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
