i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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