I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
