Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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