I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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