So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
