She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
