we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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