at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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