Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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