I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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