kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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