i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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