At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
