He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
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If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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