Its about making memories worth repressing
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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