just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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