Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
