There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
