i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
