I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
