i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize