that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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