Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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