This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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