the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
