btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm always down for nudity.
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