You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
