In the future we'll all be gay
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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