plz talk dirty to me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
