I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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