i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
