i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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