Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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