if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
