I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize