Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
