walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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