I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
