i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize