Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize