my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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