if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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