your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
