I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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