3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
