Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
