Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We left an ass print on the piano.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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