i just wanna soil my oats bro
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
