Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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