the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize