You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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