sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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