I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
