I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
smell my finger.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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