just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
