the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
