He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
