Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
