at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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