We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize