I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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