So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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