The maid of honor just puked.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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