I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
