While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
