Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
