how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
