Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize