I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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