this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
