I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
